Is Your Teenager Heard Or Silenced?
If you are the parent of a teenager than it’s most important to keep communication open, allow your child to express how they are feeling regardless of what they wish to discuss. Teenage depression is serious, and some things just don’t go away, so listen while you can for the chance may slip you by. The reason for this article is make you stop and think about your actions towards your teenager, is your teenager heard or silenced?
This Video written and preformed by Ben Grenrock moved me greatly, the thought of many young people having nowhere to turn really upset me. I am a parent and I believe home should be the safest place for children regardless of age.
Young people are so inspiring; there lust for life, their energy and most of all their uncompromising view on the world. Listening simply means you need to be silent and allow them to speak. (Listen and Silent have the same letters)
Being an advocate for young people allows you to learn about a world that is so different from your own. Times change so quickly that every generation loses sight of the next.
Having had a child myself I came to realise there was a bigger picture going on with teenagers, one that included the behaviours of their parents.
The more I listened, observed and partook in conversation, The more I became aware that most teenagers have no real relationship with their parents in terms of communicating honestly. I talked in great depth to young people and the same stories came back every time.
· Mum / Dad are always at work
· Mum / Dad are control freaks
· Mum / Dad just don’t understand
· Mum / Dad don’t trust me
· Mum / Dad don’t care
I asked these kids why were they openly telling me how they felt, there reply was because they felt safe. I felt humbled and honoured to share their experiences, Teenagers need to be heard.
I started to realize that the issues these kids were talking about were not their own, but the issues of their parents.
· If you don’t spend time at home with your kids, don’t you think it’s fear that your kids will find affection elsewhere?
· If you feel you need to control your kids, what is it you are afraid of?
· If you don’t trust your children, are you saying to them that their word means nothing?
· If you don’t tell your kids you love them, how are they meant to know?
Negative thoughts fuel negative actions.
Negative thoughts from parents will only bring back negative actions from teenagers. Despite having heard a thousand times from parents that you can not be a parent and a friend to your teenagers, I am telling you that this is not true, you can be their friend and a parent also.
All parents and teenagers have differences; the secret is not letting those differences come between you and your teenager, allow your teenagers to have opinions, they may be different to yours yes, but their opinion means as much to them as yours does to you.
Parents love the word "Control."
· I have control of my kids, they are good kids
· I control what goes on in this house
· If I have control, I can keep my kids safe
· If I lose control, then it's their fault, and I will punish them
Children carry the baggage of their parents on their back, yes it's true.
Parents love the word "Control."
· I have control of my kids, they are good kids
· I control what goes on in this house
· If I have control, I can keep my kids safe
· If I lose control, then it's their fault, and I will punish them
Children carry the baggage of their parents on their back, yes it's true.
When things go terribly wrong with your kids, sorry parents but you have a role to play in the situation, sucks doesn’t it?
You now have to sit down and really take a good hard look at yourself. It’s time you took note of your parenting skills. Are you truly honest with your kids?
Are you truly being honest with yourself?
Are you dumping your baggage, your insecurities on to your teenagers?
I am not saying this is 100% the problem by no means, but adults need to look at themselves also.
The most important thing a parent needs to learn right off the bat is "ME, MYSELF, and I", that’s right, 3 famous words from a teenager.
· Everything is about me
· Teens only think of themselves, everything is about me
· Their favourite world is I, everything is about me
You can’t go wrong, listen to what your teenagers want to say, it’s important for them to feel empowered by having someone who genuinely has an interest about what’s going on in their world.
Get involved in "Their world".
Your children may come from you but they are not you, they are simply lent to you for a short time before becoming their own identity in the world. You want your kids to be open, honest, caring human beings; you are their example.
You now have to sit down and really take a good hard look at yourself. It’s time you took note of your parenting skills. Are you truly honest with your kids?
Are you truly being honest with yourself?
Are you dumping your baggage, your insecurities on to your teenagers?
I am not saying this is 100% the problem by no means, but adults need to look at themselves also.
The most important thing a parent needs to learn right off the bat is "ME, MYSELF, and I", that’s right, 3 famous words from a teenager.
· Everything is about me
· Teens only think of themselves, everything is about me
· Their favourite world is I, everything is about me
You can’t go wrong, listen to what your teenagers want to say, it’s important for them to feel empowered by having someone who genuinely has an interest about what’s going on in their world.
Get involved in "Their world".
Your children may come from you but they are not you, they are simply lent to you for a short time before becoming their own identity in the world. You want your kids to be open, honest, caring human beings; you are their example.