Cry With Your Child So That You May Both Laugh Together.
Don't ever be afraid of depression, learn from it.
When it hurts to be a parent.
When your heart hurts over something you can’t change, it's frustrating
Wanting to cry but not being able to find the tears
is torture.
Wondering what to do, but unable to find the answers
is empty.
When you find yourself in a situation that only you can try and change
it’s difficult.
When your decision depends on the future of your life as well as others, it’s a lot of pressure.
When it hurts so bad, you just want to forget and start again, the problem being.
YOU CAN”T….
When your heart hurts over something you can’t change, it's frustrating
Wanting to cry but not being able to find the tears
is torture.
Wondering what to do, but unable to find the answers
is empty.
When you find yourself in a situation that only you can try and change
it’s difficult.
When your decision depends on the future of your life as well as others, it’s a lot of pressure.
When it hurts so bad, you just want to forget and start again, the problem being.
YOU CAN”T….
When a child is hurting:
When your child is suffering depression, you really need to ask some serious questions.
Do you openly communicate with your child? Are you always open to hearing what your child is saying?
This is especially important when it comes to teenagers, as they can be so miss understood.
Your child needs to see your vulnerable side in order to get clarity that feeling pain is a normal process of being human.
Your child needs to know you are connected to your own emotions, so that they know the dark place they fall into, is a place you are prepared to go in order to help them out of it.
They need to know you have their back at all times, no matter what.
Are you afraid to go with your child to the pits of darkness where they have fallen?
Another difficult question. If you are afraid, it's ok to let your child know you are afraid, but you must put your fear aside and let your child know you will walk with them through the whole journey of their recovery.
Do you often tell your child that you understand them, when you really don't?
There is nothing a child/youth resents more then a parent telling them they ‘understand’ how they feel, when quite clearly they don’t.
Talk with your child about the feelings they are experiencing, dive into those feelings with them and get an in depth understanding of where those feelings come from.
You have to go the whole distance with them in order to get them out, sounds tough, indeed it is.
Don't let your children down, love them unconditionally and be there at their side at all times.
Whether you are a child or an adult communication is the key to sorting out the world.
Together you can do anything.
Child depression is a hard core learning for any parent, a parent’s first thought when they find out their child is terribly depressed is what did I do wrong?
When your child is suffering depression, you really need to ask some serious questions.
Do you openly communicate with your child? Are you always open to hearing what your child is saying?
This is especially important when it comes to teenagers, as they can be so miss understood.
Your child needs to see your vulnerable side in order to get clarity that feeling pain is a normal process of being human.
Your child needs to know you are connected to your own emotions, so that they know the dark place they fall into, is a place you are prepared to go in order to help them out of it.
They need to know you have their back at all times, no matter what.
Are you afraid to go with your child to the pits of darkness where they have fallen?
Another difficult question. If you are afraid, it's ok to let your child know you are afraid, but you must put your fear aside and let your child know you will walk with them through the whole journey of their recovery.
Do you often tell your child that you understand them, when you really don't?
There is nothing a child/youth resents more then a parent telling them they ‘understand’ how they feel, when quite clearly they don’t.
Talk with your child about the feelings they are experiencing, dive into those feelings with them and get an in depth understanding of where those feelings come from.
You have to go the whole distance with them in order to get them out, sounds tough, indeed it is.
Don't let your children down, love them unconditionally and be there at their side at all times.
Whether you are a child or an adult communication is the key to sorting out the world.
Together you can do anything.
Child depression is a hard core learning for any parent, a parent’s first thought when they find out their child is terribly depressed is what did I do wrong?
A parent.
What is the role of a parent?
You would think everyone has the same answer, but I am sorry to say that is certainly not true.
In a perfect world we see a parent that is someone who is loving, who enjoys the responsibility of looking after another human being, regardless if that child is your biological child or not, if you have guardianship or custody of a minor, than you are responsible for that Childs needs, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
This is not rocket science nor is it hard to understand so why is it then that we have so many children being medicated through mental health in order to have these children function in our society. We are literally turning our children into zombies because it's the easy way out.
Why do we have more youth involved in violent crime? Why do we have so much disrespect with in the family unit? Something is really wrong here! Now I am not saying it is all due to bad parenting not at all, but this is the first port of call and you move from there.
Has our parenting changed over the years, indeed it has. Now with both mother and father expected to work, this means children are left in the care of others longer than ever before.
Pressures for financial security is a main trigger for frustration in the family home. We have more couple separating for reasons that in Hindsight could have been resolved if only adults would ask for help.
We need to become parents again, we need to become nurturing, loving human beings instead of crazy stressed robots.
I have worked with victim support which is run along side with the NZ police force. I have worked with troubled youth and what I see happening to our children is a crime to say the least.
Why are our children turning up in hospitals, mental wards and in body bags?
In my opinion it's a simply answer, parents have forgotten what it means to be parents. (we need to spend quality time with our children)
We have adults with unresolved issues, personal hangups, drug/alcohol addictions and mental health problems raising children. In many cases we have adults that don't know how to help themselves let alone their children.
We need to get help to these adults who have serious issues before we can help them become great parents.
Parents today are pushing their problems and issue on to their children, which is having devastating effects on our young generation..
Do not dump your own baggage onto your children, they have the right to explore their own world, make their own choices.
It’s important that as parents we deal with our own belief systems before we engage on programming our children.
As a parent we need to take responsibility for our own shortfalls, that’s really important because the last thing we ever want to do is dump our baggage on to our children because if we do, what we most fear will become our reality.
I have witnessed that a child will love their parents no matter what. They can be neglected, abused and abandoned but most children will still love their parents, doesn't mean they will show it, but underneath everything, kids love their parents.
What is the role of a parent?
You would think everyone has the same answer, but I am sorry to say that is certainly not true.
In a perfect world we see a parent that is someone who is loving, who enjoys the responsibility of looking after another human being, regardless if that child is your biological child or not, if you have guardianship or custody of a minor, than you are responsible for that Childs needs, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
This is not rocket science nor is it hard to understand so why is it then that we have so many children being medicated through mental health in order to have these children function in our society. We are literally turning our children into zombies because it's the easy way out.
Why do we have more youth involved in violent crime? Why do we have so much disrespect with in the family unit? Something is really wrong here! Now I am not saying it is all due to bad parenting not at all, but this is the first port of call and you move from there.
Has our parenting changed over the years, indeed it has. Now with both mother and father expected to work, this means children are left in the care of others longer than ever before.
Pressures for financial security is a main trigger for frustration in the family home. We have more couple separating for reasons that in Hindsight could have been resolved if only adults would ask for help.
We need to become parents again, we need to become nurturing, loving human beings instead of crazy stressed robots.
I have worked with victim support which is run along side with the NZ police force. I have worked with troubled youth and what I see happening to our children is a crime to say the least.
Why are our children turning up in hospitals, mental wards and in body bags?
In my opinion it's a simply answer, parents have forgotten what it means to be parents. (we need to spend quality time with our children)
We have adults with unresolved issues, personal hangups, drug/alcohol addictions and mental health problems raising children. In many cases we have adults that don't know how to help themselves let alone their children.
We need to get help to these adults who have serious issues before we can help them become great parents.
Parents today are pushing their problems and issue on to their children, which is having devastating effects on our young generation..
Do not dump your own baggage onto your children, they have the right to explore their own world, make their own choices.
It’s important that as parents we deal with our own belief systems before we engage on programming our children.
As a parent we need to take responsibility for our own shortfalls, that’s really important because the last thing we ever want to do is dump our baggage on to our children because if we do, what we most fear will become our reality.
I have witnessed that a child will love their parents no matter what. They can be neglected, abused and abandoned but most children will still love their parents, doesn't mean they will show it, but underneath everything, kids love their parents.
Loving a child.
Being a successful parent
The secret to success is doing it together, you and your child.
Let your child see your weakness and your strength, let them see that you are also simply a child under the umbrella of responsibilities, and that you remember the importance of youthful thinking.
Let them see you are as vulnerable as they are, that you hurt at times just as they do.
Let them see you strong and determined, loving and nurturing, don't be afraid to share your emotions with your children, it helps them share theirs with you.
We talk about being role models; then be a real role model.
Parents are not always strong and we certainly don’t always have all the answers, but don't let this frighten you, you are only human after all.
We are all learning this together and help is always close by.
Just Ask.
Being a successful parent
The secret to success is doing it together, you and your child.
Let your child see your weakness and your strength, let them see that you are also simply a child under the umbrella of responsibilities, and that you remember the importance of youthful thinking.
Let them see you are as vulnerable as they are, that you hurt at times just as they do.
Let them see you strong and determined, loving and nurturing, don't be afraid to share your emotions with your children, it helps them share theirs with you.
We talk about being role models; then be a real role model.
Parents are not always strong and we certainly don’t always have all the answers, but don't let this frighten you, you are only human after all.
We are all learning this together and help is always close by.
Just Ask.
Create open communication.
Together you can do anything.
Talk to your children, do not alienate them any more than they already feel, for it is possible that you may lose them.
Be a good parent by letting your children see that you are a real person, with real emotions and depth, that you feel their pain just as they do.
Don't ever dismiss a childs feelings.
Cry with your child so that you may both laugh together.
The key to being a successful parent is letting your children see you as an equal.
You are not judge and jury.
Let your children feel comfortable about sharing their thoughts with you, whether they be happy thoughts or dark thoughts.
As a parent your experiences in life make you stronger and more knowledgeable, this gives you a solid foundation upon which to raise your children. Work on yourself.
Share your knowledge with your children, share what you have learned in life so that they are forever learning new information from you.
Information helps them make decisions to keep themselves safe, happy and healthy.
Together you can do anything.
Talk to your children, do not alienate them any more than they already feel, for it is possible that you may lose them.
Be a good parent by letting your children see that you are a real person, with real emotions and depth, that you feel their pain just as they do.
Don't ever dismiss a childs feelings.
Cry with your child so that you may both laugh together.
The key to being a successful parent is letting your children see you as an equal.
You are not judge and jury.
Let your children feel comfortable about sharing their thoughts with you, whether they be happy thoughts or dark thoughts.
As a parent your experiences in life make you stronger and more knowledgeable, this gives you a solid foundation upon which to raise your children. Work on yourself.
Share your knowledge with your children, share what you have learned in life so that they are forever learning new information from you.
Information helps them make decisions to keep themselves safe, happy and healthy.
The dark times are the times your children need you the most, don’t create a wall.
Don’t be afraid of your child’s depression, gather information and be prepared for anything.
Always deal with your children openly, it than allows them to follow in your footsteps and do the same.
If you feel that your own personal issues are part of your child’s depression, than seek help, deal with your troubles so than your child can deal with theirs.
A lot of parents unintentionally dump their baggage (fears) onto their children/teenagers many do not even realise this has happened. (belief systems)
It takes a great deal of courage and honesty to look hard at yourself and see if you have indeed played a part in the actions of your child’s behaviour. If so, then you need to change your actions and behaviours so your child can change their actions and behaviours.
If you feel you are in no way responsible for your child’s depression and you feel you are unable to help them in anyway, please seek help for your child.
There are child councillors available in all communities and your doctor is a good place to start to set up support for you and your child. A close friend may be able to help.
Be there for your children, we are at the end of the day their life line in life.
Let them make mistakes and grow and learn but always, always be the ambulance at the bottom of the
cliff ready to pick them up and send them off again on a new adventure
If you are a parent give your kids a hug and let them know you love them no matter what.!!!
Don’t be afraid of your child’s depression, gather information and be prepared for anything.
Always deal with your children openly, it than allows them to follow in your footsteps and do the same.
If you feel that your own personal issues are part of your child’s depression, than seek help, deal with your troubles so than your child can deal with theirs.
A lot of parents unintentionally dump their baggage (fears) onto their children/teenagers many do not even realise this has happened. (belief systems)
It takes a great deal of courage and honesty to look hard at yourself and see if you have indeed played a part in the actions of your child’s behaviour. If so, then you need to change your actions and behaviours so your child can change their actions and behaviours.
If you feel you are in no way responsible for your child’s depression and you feel you are unable to help them in anyway, please seek help for your child.
There are child councillors available in all communities and your doctor is a good place to start to set up support for you and your child. A close friend may be able to help.
Be there for your children, we are at the end of the day their life line in life.
Let them make mistakes and grow and learn but always, always be the ambulance at the bottom of the
cliff ready to pick them up and send them off again on a new adventure
If you are a parent give your kids a hug and let them know you love them no matter what.!!!
